My moonlit revelations!

++Inspirations?++



Rainbows and shadows intertwine,
weaving images through my mind.
Dreams and thoughts flow in endless streams,
cascading like a gushing tide...

Name: Cindy Tan
Age: 21
University: HELP University College
Birthday: 3rd February 1985

+++ Involved in mission trips!!
+++ Actively involved in community services
+++ Transferring to U.S.A in 1 year time!!

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rantings



[July 2004] [August 2004]
[September 2004]
[October 2004]
[November 2004]
[December 2004]
[January 2005]
[February 2005] [March 2005]
[April 2005] [May 2005]
[June 2005] [July 2005]
[August 2005]
[September 2005]
[October 2005]
[November 2005]
[December 2005]
[January 2006]
[February 2006]
[March 2006]
[April 2006]
[May 2006]

Friday, January 27, 2006

I AM by Nichole Nordeman

"Pencil marks on a wall I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again

CHORUS:
And When I was weak unable to speak,
Still I could call You by name,
And I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,come if You can,”
And You said “I am”
Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at 10pm
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:
When I was weak, unable to speak,
Still I could call You by name,
And I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,be my Best Friend”
And You said “I am”
You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it’s 2am

CHORUS:
When I am weak, unable to speak,
Still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,hold on to my hand,”
And You say “I am.”
The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer
Life had begun, I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne,
Who can say when, But they’ll dance again,
when I am free and finally headed home

CHORUS:
I will be weak, unable to speak,
Still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and the End,
I am, yes, I am.”
I love this quote so much:
"To wait is to learn the spritual grace of detachment, the freedom of desire; not the absence of desire, but desire at rest."
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emiko shinning brightly at 2:37 PM

Friday, January 13, 2006

The 5th day of the Spring Semester. . .
What's new on this 5th day? Feeling of despair and excitement really hyped me up this morning when I got up from my bed at 6.30 a.m. sharp as I get myself ready for class at 8 a.m. My initial plan for today was to go straight for my conflict resolution class and thereafter, I should go straight to see any of the course counselors just to help me get 5 subjects to take for this semester. Somehow or rather, my plan failed within 10 minutes after my class was over.
Not totally failed but just late by a couple of minutes. I got to see Daniel and to my surprise, I do not need my biological science course anymore. I just left with 8 papers before transferring to BSU now... Wonderful, isn't it? So, instead of me taking so many psychology papers and electives now, I'm down with only 8 papers left... This semester, I only have to take 4 papers, 3 of which is psychology papers and 1 college algebra.. Perhaps, that can help myself ready for SAT exam which I intend to register after taking up my TOEFL later on, perhaps in May, where my holidays start! Need to register TOEFL soon... And VISA will my next task to do...
Supposingly, there's a get-together dinner in MMHA tonight but somehow or rather, it's a bit too late and I went there straight after all my classes today, roughly about 4 p.m. , and reaching MMHA about 5.10 p.m. Got there together with a friend of mine... and as soon as Istepped into the building... I couldn't believed my eyes, simply because I have an impression that MMHA might be a very big building, compared to those NGOs that I've went previously... But, it's a total opposite.. MMHA is 40 years old now but...Gosh, it doesn't seem to be one... I'm not going to go long winded on this as you can go there yourself to have a look of how MMHA is like... Anyway, I've already confirmed with Mr M what things I would like to contribute as a volunteer there and I've chose to help to facilitate their DSG which the meetings only held once a month.. Thank God for His understanding on my schedule... Being part of this committee should be great and lots of things to learn and benefit from each other, to help me learn to become a better counselor of the future... Since Mr M know I have the talent in music, he once asked me to play piano for the 'clients'.. but somehow today, this information must be slipping out of his mind since he didn't mention about it but i believed he must have jotted down somewhere...
Community work / Social work is really a great thing to do! Since I'm taking social work course this semester, I believed I'm able to learn more intervention skills from my lecturer so that I'm able to contribute more to my community the next time round...
Gotta end this entry fast as having a very bad tummy ache since this morning... Sorry people for my 'bad' grammar now... Feeling very tired... Gonna tuck myself in bed now.....
Adios, ppl!!! =)
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emiko shinning brightly at 10:36 PM

Sunday, January 08, 2006

C'est le Viesta

As the weather getting colder and cozy each day, I began to sneezed terribly, a few 'ah-choos' in just a couple of seconds. I'm getting a bad cold and the new semester is taking the front starting tomorrow. I must not get sick... No time for that actually. In fact, I'm actually have allergies towards dusty stuffs and I was tidying up my table since yesterday's afternoon after coming back from HELP (walking around looking for suitable room to move in). Unfortunately, the rooms are kinda costly and not comfortable for me to move in.

Anyway, semester starting tomorrow and as usual, I have to get myself emotionally prepared for new challenges as I knew it gonna be tough for me to handle quite a number of subjects that each of them, have their own requirements and different workloads. Despite the heavy workloads, I am still determined to do well as before. I'm sure God will guide and lead me through for the next 4 months, coping with quizzes , projects and assignments as well as social work practice besides waking up early every morning to catch the LRTs and the feeder bus. God, please give me enough energy everyday to go to and fro as my classes started that early and ends only at 6 p.m. I need good immune system, good memory and protection.

Apart from that, I realized that being 21 isn't easy. C'est le viesta!!! The journey is challenging yet fulfilling!
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emiko shinning brightly at 9:16 PM

Friday, January 06, 2006

Do miracles really happen?

Generally speaking, Christians all over the world believe in miracles but does it really happens? Perhaps yes! Being a 7 year old Christian, I believe miracles do come true! AndI have been experiencing miracles after miracles since the day I accepted the Lord. What I could say is that God has been so real in my life and things can turn around when they seem to be so impossible!!!

Faith is something that is so important to have the full trust in God. Without faith, there's nothing possible we could achieve. We might fail and fall down and you may think that let's get up and walk again. It's easy to say than done. But with God, things will be much easily sorted out and deal with.

For instance, I got my LAN results today and I should be failing that course. But guess what? Somehow or rather, I did exceptionally well.(Thank you, Lord...) God really turned things around for me.. I'm the lady who really hated history so much...To me, what is so good about learning history? Why not we focus on the future rather than the past? The past can corrupt our lives like never before but we should realize that there's a future ahead of us! Everyone has a 'bright' future. We should be the ones going all out to create significant results and achieve our dreams that is aligned of what God has planned for us and according to His will and timing.. not sitting down there and blaming why life is so unfair.. this and that...

In fact, it's such a waste of time to bargain and making such a fuss of how unfair of life is.. instead of making the effort to make the difference out of any circumstances. And first of all, God doesn't promised us for a fair life but He will only give us the things that He and us could handle.

So, do give thanks and praises to God whether you're in your bad times or happy times. He wants you to be faithful and trust in Him. Everyone can betrayed and leave us anytime they want to.. but God will never leave us nor forsake us. He is our everlasting God... His love is simply unconditional... Run to Him now!!!!
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emiko shinning brightly at 5:03 PM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

New Year. . . New Resolutions . . . New Layout!


Dear Fellow Readers,


New Year? New Resolutions? New Layout? Finally, I have came out with my very own new layout after a year of using that childish layout! Phew!!! Guess I'm a little mature now... Basically, the new layout looks fine but there are more magical touch that needs to be done during my next semester break. I would like to change my allignments and the whole appearance of my text but it needs a lot of time and patience just to get those things done. Unfortunately, my time and energy is simply scarced...

For your information, since I'm using a black background now, you guys may not be able to read my entries in my archives except if you guys take the effort to highlight the whole page but trust me, I will have those things sorted out once I have the time to edit them.

Thank you for being with me for the past 1 year and I hope you guys enjoy my life journal...

My blog now has a new tagline which goes: "Moonlight's Whispers". Hear my soft whispers, that unfold every memories, thoughts & dreams of my past, NOW and the future! Happy Reading! =)

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emiko shinning brightly at 5:34 PM

Monday, January 02, 2006

God's love is everlasting! His love is consuming and once we catch a glimpse of how great it is, our lives are ruined for the world forever! There's nothing in the past that can prevent me from becoming part of His family and getting closer to Him each day! I'll surrender all to Him!! Take charge, Lord....
So You Would Come
Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come
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emiko shinning brightly at 3:59 PM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Diary of 2005

As the clock strikes 12 midnight, as a year exits and another new one begins, all of us will somehow wants to look at life anew. Most of us have been going through ups and downs- the bumpy roads that what we usually defined what's life is all about, the sweetness and the bitterness while the list can go on and on... but do we really want to focus what has affected us for the past one year or do we really want to start our life anew with a stronger determination, more perseverance and all? Well, it's all up to us for us to decide for ourselves and I believed all of us have the answers at the tip of our fingers!

Whether you were out there partying to usher the new year or at home watching, staring at the fireworks that is being released, there is still space for the magical moment for us to remember, reflect and refresh!

In putting together this first entry for the Year 2006, I know and realize that many events in the past year are still fresh in my memory. They will not be wiped away simply because the calendar year changes. But there's one thing I can only do. And that is to renew my faith, my hope and my love in and for God and my community. There's no one can help me to feel better and create better results unless I put efforts to trust God more and make a difference. The world will somehow a better place to live in if all us are willing to make a difference- whether big or small, it's still a result!

As I retrospect the year 2005, there's so much I have gone through and below is the account of my life for the year 2005:
Jan 2005- Started my Spring semester
- Grandad fell down and broke his hip
- Rushing in and out the hopsital to visit grandad
- Started volunteering in Special Children Society of Ampang

Feb 2005- Celebrated my birthday with friends in MV
- CNY was rather quiet as grandad was in wheelchair (His condition actually gotten worst by then)
- I was busy preparing for my mid terms and was rather down and stressed!
- My quizzes got worst...

March 2005- Grandad couldn't really communicate with me or to anyone else anymore
- I was admitted to Tmn Desa Hospital after I fainted in a cab while on my way back from a music concert in PJ.........just to get my music assignments done at that time.
- Was in the hospital for 3 days 2 nights.
- After a few days I was discharged, grandad was on bed and never able to get up again and he was admitted after that. And only 2 weeks in hospital, he passed away on a sunday morning (20th).
- I cried non-stop on that day he was called home to be with the Lord although I was pretty much rest assured that he is in a better place now and no longer suffer and felt the pain anymore.
- I had a very hard time thereafter....

April 2005 - Life still goes on..
- Busy preparing for my finals although I couldn't concentrate of what I'm reading.
- I began to have the fear in the dark and don't dare to go upstairs anymore.
- Slept with my grandma in the same room as I don't dare to sleep alone anymore.
- Have nightmares and screams a lot...

May 2005 - My condition got better but the symptoms are still there.
- I'm more calm but there are things that I still couldn't accept.
- Started my Summer semester after few weeks of holidays.

June 2005 - Living my life as normal...

July 2005- Attended AsiaWorks Basic Training : Learnt and experienced a lot of what life actually means.
- Has a better network of friends

August 2005- Dec 2005- Began to get active in Beautiful Gate activities
- Started internship under the HELP's counselling unit
- Started working and enjoying life to the fullest!
- Attended a few Personal Development workshops organized by the HELP's Counselling Unit

Life is tough and not fair for me in 2005! And God didn't ever promised me for a fair life! He only said that He can only give things that He knows I can handle and not more than that!!!

All in all, as you can see, I'm the one that is trying my best to make the difference. I wouldn't have been so optimistic about life when life seems to be so stinky and harsh for me! I wouldn't have achieve what I want for 2005 if I don't persevere and hold on to God.

Life wouldn't be live to the fullest if I'm not committed to what I want to achieve. Taking big risks to achieve a greater success is what I have learnt. There will be no success and results if I don't take risks! Perseverance and integrity has taught me a lot too!

Thank you Lord for letting me go through 2005 with so much memories while protecting and guiding me with your victorious Hands!!!! There's so much joy, peace and love for whoever who trust and believe in Him! Amen!!! :)
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emiko shinning brightly at 2:17 PM
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