My moonlit revelations!

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Rainbows and shadows intertwine,
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Name: Cindy Tan
Age: 21
University: HELP University College
Birthday: 3rd February 1985

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rantings



[July 2004] [August 2004]
[September 2004]
[October 2004]
[November 2004]
[December 2004]
[January 2005]
[February 2005] [March 2005]
[April 2005] [May 2005]
[June 2005] [July 2005]
[August 2005]
[September 2005]
[October 2005]
[November 2005]
[December 2005]
[January 2006]
[February 2006]
[March 2006]
[April 2006]
[May 2006]

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

4 more days before my mid-terms!! I'm feeling so nervous.. I haven't study anything yet for the exams. Was so tired and haven't had enough rest since the semester started. I would probably say that i'm half dead or so-called the 'zombie'. I will be having my exams from monday until sat...and this feeling was awful! I just hate going for exams. Why must these lecturers forced us students to remember and memorize things for exams rather than apply it to our working world? I guess hands on experience will be so much better rather than going for exams and evaluate us based on our results alone. I don't think this is the right way for the lecturers to evaluate the students!!!!!!:(


I'm not sure what should I do now...to study or not to study! I wonder if I have given up on this last minute work or not... most probably, yes!


Anyway, I really need to stop blogging here until my exams are over... need to concentrate on my studies now! C'ya~
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emiko shinning brightly at 8:03 PM

Monday, September 13, 2004

AARGGGHH!!!!! Time flies! I hate it!! But, what can I do? It has been 4 weeks since the day I got back to UNI! Projects are piling up even higher on the table! My whole room is in a mess! I didn't even have the time to pack up my things and arrange my things in order. Quizzes and tests are coming. Nevertheless, my mid-term exams is just 3 weeks away from now!


And, I will be having classes until 7 p.m this coming Tuesday and the coming Tuesday! How i wish that I don't have to attend these classes until this late!! :( I just hope that i can have my own time to relax myself and to start meditating... and by breathing in deeply with lavenders' aroma!!


Anyway, I will be sitting for my first test (10%) for the human comm's class this Tuesday! I just hope that everything went on smoothly! And yes, I didn't even study for my counseling yet! And, I just hope and praying hard that there's no quiz this week! It supposed to be pop quiz but then... hiya.. just hope the lecturer is busy and forget all about it!


And, there's a lot of readings for me to do... and there are certain subjects that I even have the time to revise and to go over it! I think i'm sufferring badly this semester! The feelings for this semester is terrible! It's damn stress... with overloading projects and didn't even have the time to rest. :( I just wanted to cry over it!!!


In fact, my group will be conducting a public seminar on "Depression" but my group members and I didn't have the time to meet up until the mid-term is over. And, after the mid-term is over, I will only have 2 weeks to prepare for that seminar... and goes the same with my other group members... The seminar will be starting somewhere next month but haven't confirmed the date, time and the venue yet! But is yet to confirm! ;)


Anyway, it's about 2 a.m right now and I guess I really need to go for now as I will be attending to psychology lectures tomorrow and it will heavy going for me...


Good night!
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emiko shinning brightly at 1:34 AM

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Tuesday- 7/9/04 : I've been damn busy for the past one week and I can now finally getting back to blogging again! I guess you guys have seen the newspaper on comments that have been poured out by some parents and others regarding the disadvantages of blogging. Well, I don't care what disadvantages there are and most importantly, I can pour out my feelings and my thoughts here and at the same time, get my brain working and functionning better.


Besides, it is nearly 1 a.m now and I'm still here blogging! I slept at 4 a.m last night, surfing the ProQuest for psychology journals to backup my projects on depression. It sounds easy though but it's a tough work! And, i'm still wondering whether i'm in the right course or not! It seems to be the most difficult course among other courses, such as medical courses.


I've been in the college, running up and down, looking high and low for my lecturers! Wondering where all of them have gone to! Perhaps, they might be having their meetings or lectures somewhere. And true enough, I've found out that Ms. Lalitha wasn't in. I was supposed to hand in the student-tutor application form this morning to her... but searching for her everywhere and I certainly gave up and told myself to look out for her later.


Before my counseling lectures today, I went to see Mr. Sulay, my human communication lecturer on further clarification on my group project, so-called the 'role play'. Yeah, I did everything on my own and none of my group members contributed to it. And, they are so blur, giving so much excuses and so forth. They sucks!! And , I always hated group thingy!!! Anyway, Mr.Sulay said that the role play was very interesting and good enough but need to add in the definition and he told me that the theory he gave to my group is the most difficult theory among all other theories. But, the situation I concluded is good enough to demonstrate that though! He was in a great surprise actually! But, my concern now is that none of my group members know what is happening. Well, when in the lectures today, all my group members came to see me... asking me what they should do and so on. And, i told them that everything has been done! But... I'm not sure how the role play will be in a smooth pace or not.... as they are not sure on their role and what they should do and stuff! Sounds irritating , right? Perhaps, yes!!


And, I bumped into J today-my support group friend. I can't really chat much with her though but at least a few 'concern' words before I left for my counseling lectures at AE 1. Well, she looks great but a bit down though- not sure what has been going on for her all these while. Didn't have much time to catch up with her. And on the way to AE 1, I bumped into another person- Mr. Mile. :P I told him that I have an appointment with him at 3 p.m today and he said, you're Cindy Tan, right? And I said, "Yes, definitely I am!" He looks cute and gave me a big, wide smile! :) I love to see him smile and at 3 p.m today, I went to see him in his office to discuss certain things that I need to improve and work on! It's so good of him to give me a new perspective of life and what life is all about! Life is not merely about studies, exams but it is the relaxation and my enjoyment of life! He concludes that a good psychologist need to have this both things balanced in their life, in order to help others! And I told him, " It's true!!" Besides, I did told him that I'm anxious and nervous about little tiny bits of things in studies. For instance, quizzes or exams. And he told me that I did so well for my abnormal psychology quiz (scoring the highest, with a perfect score) and he told me that there's nothing to worried about and I will be fine at the end of the day.


Moreover, he gave me some 'small' homework to work on and how can I cope with stressful life events in my daily life. He told me that he thinks that I'm a great person and I'm not sure what is the meaning behind the word 'great'! I guess I'm great at certain times when I'm up but not when I'm wallowing in my down moods!! But, I still couldn't figure out what 'great' is in me, neither are my potentials. I just hope things will be work out well as days passed by. Life will be tough and hectic for me throughout this semester but I believed with certain coping methods,time management and study skills, I will be able to make it through this semester with flying colors! Also, I strongly believe that if my determination for success is there, I will certainly succeed! With the help of Mr. Mile, his role as my lecturer and my counselor and support and affirmation from friends will certainly help and strengthen me through with this hectic lifestyle that I have now!


I really got to go for now as it is quite late and I got to have some rest to face another heavy day tomorrow. Worries and projects (assignments) will never end but they will come to an end if I allow it! ;) Good night!
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emiko shinning brightly at 1:53 AM

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

shhhhh... i'm now in the CS 101 lab today but... it's damn boring. The lecturer has just gone out and I have the chance to blog now! Well, she's(lecturer) is teaching us how to type and how to format my documents! It is so so boring... What is this man!!!! Paying RM 1000+ for this course but what have I learn????? :( It's damn boring!!! no jokes, mannn!!!! T___T


oopss....she is back.... the boring lectures started off again.... 1 more hour to go.... Anyway, I have to go for now... Or else....i will be ........ :P You should know , right?

That's all i can blog for today! Nyo~~~~
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emiko shinning brightly at 10:43 AM

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