:: M o o n l i g h t ' s W h i s p e r s.

Bored. Tired. Sleepy. Stressed.

These are the main reasons I have been online lately except for that one whole week before my LAN exam recently. I have no idea what I am looking forward to but what I know I'm looking forward for my 21st birthday which is in a few months time... I just can't wait for that day to come... Will have 'date' on that day! But not sure what kind of surprise I'm gonna get.

Leaving this aside, let's see what's gonna keep me occupied for the next 30 days or so. I don't think I wanna get a part time job as my grandma will have a lots of doctor visits and the doctors gonna arrange for her operation (eyes and legs). Nowadays, I have been taking over all the "jobs" that once belonged to my grandma. I could understand why is she so tired after so many years of taking care of me. I knew how she felt. Upon my heart felt gratitude for her, I wanna do whatever I can just for her. I do not want to have the same sense of regret as I have for my grandad.

I'm not sure whether I've gone through the griving period in a proper way after my grandad's death as I have the fear of touching his belongings, going upstairs where I could see his bed and room, dark, alone and etc. Even books that he has bought for me before... I don't dare to flip open or to touch it.

As far as I am concern, I'm God's child but why am I having so much fear now? Am I accepting my own feeling of dissapointment, sadness and all? Am I? I don't know!

As I was going through and entering some feedbacks and assessment regarding of my feelings, I found there's some unsettle feelings that need to be dealt with. This log book of mine contains a lot of my so-called destructive behaviors or negative thoughts that I once had a year ago that has now turned into positive thoughts! A cheerful and bubbly person that I am now is some sort of achievement that I have observed! Positive feedbacks and compliments towards of who I am now is positive correlated with my achievements!

Trust me...the journey that I'm going through has never been easy yet my strong will prevails!
All in all, thank God for looking after me all these while. Thank God for His everlasting love for me! Thank God for not forsaking me! Thank you, Lord!!!! There's no other words that I can say other than THANK YOU!


++Inspirations?++ Rainbows and shadows intertwine, weaving images through my mind. Dreams and thoughts flow in endless streams, cascading like a gushing tide... Name: Cindy Tan Age: 21 University: HELP University College Birthday: 3rd February 1985 +++ Involved in mission trips!! +++ Actively involved in community services +++ Transferring to U.S.A in 1 year time!! ~~Thank you for visting my blog! Happy Reading!~~ + +Blessed+ + * June Khoo * Kenneth * Su Cheen * Aliya * Step * Annie and to all of you who are not in this list, you're still my friends and you know who you are! + +Favourites+ + Heartlight Youth Alive Malaysia Anime Skies + +Visitors+ + Wanna play Tic-Tac-Toe with me? Will give you a chance to WIN :) rantings [July 2004] [August 2004] [September 2004] [October 2004] [November 2004] [December 2004] [January 2005] [February 2005] [March 2005] [April 2005] [May 2005] [June 2005] [July 2005] [August 2005] [September 2005] [October 2005] [November 2005] [December 2005] [January 2006] [February 2006] [March 2006] [April 2006] [May 2006]	Saturday, December 03, 2005 Bored. Tired. Sleepy. Stressed. These are the main reasons I have been online lately except for that one whole week before my LAN exam recently. I have no idea what I am looking forward to but what I know I'm looking forward for my 21st birthday which is in a few months time... I just can't wait for that day to come... Will have 'date' on that day! But not sure what kind of surprise I'm gonna get. Leaving this aside, let's see what's gonna keep me occupied for the next 30 days or so. I don't think I wanna get a part time job as my grandma will have a lots of doctor visits and the doctors gonna arrange for her operation (eyes and legs). Nowadays, I have been taking over all the "jobs" that once belonged to my grandma. I could understand why is she so tired after so many years of taking care of me. I knew how she felt. Upon my heart felt gratitude for her, I wanna do whatever I can just for her. I do not want to have the same sense of regret as I have for my grandad. I'm not sure whether I've gone through the griving period in a proper way after my grandad's death as I have the fear of touching his belongings, going upstairs where I could see his bed and room, dark, alone and etc. Even books that he has bought for me before... I don't dare to flip open or to touch it. As far as I am concern, I'm God's child but why am I having so much fear now? Am I accepting my own feeling of dissapointment, sadness and all? Am I? I don't know! As I was going through and entering some feedbacks and assessment regarding of my feelings, I found there's some unsettle feelings that need to be dealt with. This log book of mine contains a lot of my so-called destructive behaviors or negative thoughts that I once had a year ago that has now turned into positive thoughts! A cheerful and bubbly person that I am now is some sort of achievement that I have observed! Positive feedbacks and compliments towards of who I am now is positive correlated with my achievements! Trust me...the journey that I'm going through has never been easy yet my strong will prevails! All in all, thank God for looking after me all these while. Thank God for His everlasting love for me! Thank God for not forsaking me! Thank you, Lord!!!! There's no other words that I can say other than THANK YOU! __n_ /____\ + + + + + +l__n__l+ + + + + + emiko shinning brightly at 3:44 PM
Layout and Pictures by Cindy Tan Copyright Â© 2006-2007 Moonlight's Whispers. Images and content are copyright to their respective owners. All rights reserved.